How To Solve Marital Conflicts
Learn how to solve marital conflicts. These techniques of constructive patching up can turn around that domestic squabble into a positive experience.
Marital conflicts are part of every marriage. Conflicts do not signal trouble or the end of the marriage. Domestic squabbles enable the couple to voice their differences in opinions and find resolutions or common grounds to compromise. There are no hard and fast rules advising how to solve every marital conflict. You can use any one of the four techniques or vary their use for adding variety and credibility to your sincerity towards solving your domestic sprat.
One technique is to practice the active listening therapy. This is more than just listening. Listen with your brain. Make sure the clogs in your brain are turning to decipher what the actual problem behind the complaint is. It helps you to re-state your partner's grief by emphasizing what you think you heard back to him/her. Sometimes, it takes another person to make the other realize how ridiculous/silly then original dispute was when the quarrel is stated matter-of-factly. Viola! The conflict is dissolved somewhat sheepishly but exercise the restraint not to gloat over your victory.
Another technique is to redirect your anger at the problem or yourself. Don't attack your partner by using the accusing "you". This puts him/her on the defensive and he/she is not likely to agree with you. You may end up arguing until the cows come home! When you focus on yourself, you are actually manipulating the other to do something for you because you need that thing.
A great technique to try is the validation method which soothes people by making them feel better when you validate (or endorse and agree) on the issue that's causing you the problem. It takes a whole lot of guts to admit that you're wrong. You have to swallow your pride too. The nerves are soothed and a peaceful solution can be reached shortly. Sometimes, you'll be surprised at how easy it is to do something that's at the center of dispute. When you get around to doing it, it is not as tough as you thought it to be.
If all else fails and you need to make up to enjoy the privileges of domestic peace, you can always fall back on bribery. Make a sacrifice and get your partner that much desired gift. It is amazing how a little bribery can work wonders for your marriage. Never mind if that's the oldest trick in the book. Pay anything for the price of peace. If your partner detests gifts, then do something for him/her to win the affection back. The present also stands out as a sore reminder of how you had to burn a hole in your pocket because of some stupid squabble. The rule of thumb is make up, not break up.