Do We Ever Get Over Our First Love?
How can you get over your childhood sweetheart? How to put it all in perspective.
I have found that some people never really get over their first love. Some of us pine for many years over that special someone. Some of us get married to someone else. Some of us move. Some of us hang on to the old feelings. Some of us after many years still ask, "What if?" Few of us marry that first love.
I was able to finally get over my first love. Here is how I did it. After my divorce, I got lonely for some friends. James and I hadn’t been in contact for eight years. I was in a new state, had very few friends and two children to support. I tracked James down. He moved to a different city, was married with had two children of his own and he wanted to see me. I felt ecstatic that after all this time, he wanted to see me.
The sound of his voice brought back bittersweet memories. My mother made us break-up. We were too young for such a serious relationship. I knew she was right but I never quite forgave her for ruining something that was so special to me. At fourteen, I was sure we would get married but life had a way of working out differently.
So, at 25, I was planning to see him in Las Vegas. He was going there for a convention. My only friend would watch the children. I couldn’t believe I was really going to do it. My life was in a haze. I was giddy with excitement. I would finally seem him after all of these years. He still cared about me. He was very open about wanting to have a relationship. I didn’t want another relationship anyway. Or did I?
Somehow, I was able to get a grip on myself and tell James that I couldn’t go. I couldn’t subject him, his wife, or their children to someone breaking up their home. I didn't want to get on that road to more heartache for my children or me.
Although it has been twenty years since I last held my first love and many years since I didn’t go to visit James in Las Vegas, I still think of him. I can still hear his voice almost a whisper on the telephone and feel the gentle touch of his fingers on my cheek. I can still smell the spicy cologne he used to wear.
When I think of the position James tried to put me in by asking me to meet him in Las Vegas while he was still married, I realized that while I wanted to be with him, it was more the idea of being with him that was so appealing. He didn’t have either of our best interests at heart when he asked me to see him.
Some people are unable to get over their first love. There will always be a place in your heart for him or her.
Some people realize and accept that God has a reason for unanswered prayers. Those people move on with their life.
Note: James is not his real name for the sake of privacy.