We all experience failed relationships. Here is common sense advice on how to overcome it, learn from it and go on with your life.
Trust Mother Nature to organise most of her animal and plant world to roam in pairs. It is this same pesky design that moves us humans to seek out our other halves, regardless of how many frogs we kiss along the way. If only it was always a case of "some enchanted evening, you will see a stranger across a crowded room". Fat chance!
The devastation that follows upon discovering such a frog can only be understood by fellow frog-kissers, which is 95% of today’ population! So what is this article about then? It’s no scientific gobblygook or psycho-analytical mumbo-jumbo. It is plain and simple common sense advice on how to survive the most horrible of experiences on the love mart - being dumped!
Our own experiences are as individualistic as each of us, but in most cases, the following five steps should help you on your road to recovery.
- Honour Yourself - No matter what the experience, Someone thought you worthy enough to be created. Therefore you have value. And if that is hard to believe, take some time to make an in-depth list of your good vs bad points. You may be surprised by what you find. So reclaim your self-worth first.
- Face the Issue - There is no bigger fool than the one who fools him/herself. It happened - for whatever reason. Don’t lend more power to it by getting stuck there. Face it and go beyond it.
- Learn from it - There is a lesson in every experience. Step back until you discover what that lesson was and are able to avoid it in future. Otherwise all the agony would have been for nothing.
- Close it - Running away has never helped anyone. So look at your options and act on what is best for you - no one else! It will hurt like the very devil, but the shortest route to closure and recovery is straight and swift.
- Cherish it - No matter how it ends, every relationship has its special moments. You know you are on the road to recovery when you can find things to cherish about it, without the pain or bitterness.
There are three underlying factors that will make or break the above steps - you, honesty and positivity.
- You - Often when we fall in love, good sense seems to fall by the wayside and we rely on our partners to make us happy. What a crock! Small wonder people buckle under the pressure! You are responsible for your own happiness and contentment. If you are complete within yourself and can take control of your life, you will be able to allow another person into your world to enhance that happiness. Without unrealistic expectations from either side, the chances of failure are smaller. So reclaim that right to your own happiness and check out the difference!
- Honesty - Don’t prolong you pain by bluffing yourself. You are trying to recover in the shortest time possible. You don’t have to be that truthful with the world and his brother, but you owe it to yourself to be as painfully honest as you can. That will allow you to view the situation objectively, determine its lesson, check out your options, act on it and get beyond it.
- Positivity - That is a tough one. Every bad, painful experience tends to make us wary or cynical. But where is the fun in that? So here’s a golden rule. Don’t expect anything. That way you will never be disappointed. But never close yourself off from new experiences. That way you will be open when those wonderful surprises show up.
Mother Nature has a way of balancing everything out. Every negative experience is therefore, echoed by a positive one. No matter the momentary pain, eventually, the pendulum will swing your way. Be open to it and good luck!