Divorce recovery: if you have just gotten divorced and find yourself at an impass, you've probably asked yourself this question 'what do I do now?' Here are some answers.
Even though we do enter into marriage with the belief that we will stay happily married until the day we die, sometimes it just doesn’t work out like that.
Every single person knows at least two couples who have divorced. For some it may seem as the end of the road for them, but it really doesn’t have to be.
If you’re going through a divorce and find yourself at loss as to what to do next, a few of these suggestions will help you through this difficult time. Just remember – it’s going to get better.
1. If you have children think about how this is effecting them. Take the time to explain what is happening every step of the way. Often children feel left out when it comes to divorce and many don’t understand it altogether. Make plans to do things with your children, spend a little extra time with them and ensure that the other partner does this too.
2. Think positive. It is easier said than done, but if you think positively and stop thinking this is the end of your life you’ll start to realise that this could be a new beginning – if you make it. If the relationship wasn’t a good one think about how now you can enjoy your freedom.
3. Start doing all the things you’ve always loved to do but other commitments have always come first or have not permitted it. If you’d love to learn Spanish enrol in an evening class. If you’ve always loved art but don’t find the time anymore then take your sketch pad to a nearby monument or field and just draw.
4. Remember you are not a failure. You just tried something and it didn’t work – now you are moving on.
5. Don’t feel that you must have a partner to feel worthy. When the time is right to get back into the dating game again, you’ll know.
6. If your friends are desperate to try and fix you up with the perfect man, avoid them. Spend time on your own for a while and learn about what you want from life and a partner. Ensure you are happy with yourself before you go looking for somebody else.
7. If you do find a partner soon after the break up, take it slow.
8. Don’t mope around the house, get out, and meet new people. Catch up with old friends. The more time you have to think about things the more you’ll become miserable again.
9. Try to end the marriage fairly and without bitterness – this is especially important if you have children. Forget about your need for revenge and think about your child’s feelings.
Getting divorced will be stressful, and it will take a while to get all the details finalized and arranged. But once the legal red tape has been cut your new life will begin!