Codependency Quiz: Are You Too Needy?
Take this short quiz to see if you are too needy. Is your codependency interfering in your love life?
Instructions: Have some paper and a pen or pencil handy and get ready for your quiz! First, jot down the numbers 1-5 on your paper. Then write your most HONEST answer next to the question number. No peeking at the point values until you are done with the quiz. Being too needy cannot only be downright annoying, it can even sabotage relationships. When you are ready to find out if you are a need-machine add up your points with the answer key! (Remember, this quiz is just for fun, entertainment and perhaps some small insight into your life. It is by no means scientific. Good luck and have fun!)
QUIZ: Are you too needy?
(1) Your friend promises to call you at 7:00 and so you two can go out to a movie. By 8:00, you still haven't heard from him. By now you are...
(a)...crying into your pillow
(b)...leaving the 9th voice mail for him asking what is going on
(c)...picking up the phone to see if he forgot and maybe just wants to see a later showing of the film
(d) ...quietly renouncing your relationship with this person and deciding not to pick up the phone even if it does ring
(2) Your significant other always signs e-mails "Your Sweetheart", but today you get one from him/her that doesn't have a signature at all! You're response would best match which of the following?
(a) You'd compose a typical response to the e-mail, except you would leave off your usual signature of 'Your Pookie' just in case
(b) Debate a break-up, this person clearly cannot show affection
(c) Respond as you always do, he/she probably just forgot or was in a hurry. It doesn't mean anything
(d) You'd immediately begin crying into a pillow
(3) One weekend, all your friends and family are out of town. Even your dog is feeling under the weather. It looks like you are facing a long weekend alone. How do you feel?
(a) Relieved, now I can catch up on some housework and other projects!
(b) I feel the need to immediately jump online and get into a chatroom, I cannot stand the solitude!
(c) I feel terribly bored and depressed, but I can deal with it
(d) I begin pulling out maps and trying to figure out how much money a road trip to see my friends on their romantic weekend at the lodge would cost.
(4) Your lover gives you a book of poems for Valentines Day when you specifically asked for a card and flowers. What is your response to him/her?
(a) "You are so thoughtful! Thank you!" (and mean it)
(b) "You are so thoughtful! Thank you!" (even though you hate poetry and wonder if he/she ever listens to what you ask for)
(c) "You really don't love me, do you?"
(d) You grab the nearest pillow and cry into it
(5) You and your significant other are walking down the street holding hands when an individual that your lover would clearly find attractive walks by. Your sweetheart releases your hand and scratches his/her head as you pass the sexy pedestrian. You...
(a) Take his/her hand back and continue walking. Hey, people have places they need to itch, it doesn't mean anything!
(b) Wonder if your lover was hoping the passerby wouldn't see you two holding hands. Shrug it off but not hold hands until your significant other initiates.
(c) Immediate accuse your partner of lusting for that stranger, and furthermore imply that he/she is probably cheating on you. End the scene by stomping off into the nearest McDonalds and drowning your sorrows in greasy french fries
(d) Take his/her hand and continue walking. So what if he/she was looking? It is just a natural, subconscious human response -no big deal
(e) Run into the nearest bedding store and find a pillow to cry into
(1) a=3; b=3; c=0; d=5
(2) a=1; b=5; c=0; d=4
(3) a=0; b=2; c=1; d=4
(4) a=0; b=2; c=5; d=3
(5) a=0; b=1; c=4; d=0; e=3
The moment of truth has arrived! Add up your points and see if you are a Need-machine!
18-23 points: NEED-MACHINE You have probably been through many relationships. The words irrational, clingy, and insane are probably not foreign to you. You often have very high expectations of your friends and lovers. Too high. You set rules of conduct that they must follow without sharing these rules. When one of these rules is inadvertently broken, you snap. You jump to conclusions and sometimes even quickly terminate your relationship. Listen to me, friend. This has GOT to stop. You probably have low self-esteem and a myriad of other personal issues going on. Talking these issues out with a counselor wouldn't be a bad idea. If you don't change, you are likely to continue to sabotage your relationships and earn an unfortunate nickname of some sort.
9-18 points: FAIRLY NEEDY You have pretty high standards as well as odd ways of interpreting certain situations. This can make you difficult to be with. People may be worried that they cannot live up to your needs, so they will avoid making a real relationship with you. You are not beyond repair! Try to figure out what your truly need out of your relationships. Then, when he doesn't call you or she doesn't laugh at your jokes, you will be able to put it into perspective rather than jumping to conclusions.
1-8 points: NOT ANNOYINGLY NEEDY (usually) You have your needy moments. We all do. If you are on the higher end of this scale, you may want to be more aware of how your slightly needy nature affects your relationships. A little introspection never hurt anyone. Much.
Zero points: NEEDS? WHAT NEEDS? You are probably a very healthy person in relationships and a joy to be with. You are rational and reasonable. However, just because you are not needy doesn't mean that you are not a push-over. You may run the risk of being walked over at times simply because you do not care what happens in the relationship. Unfortunately, this test cannot measure your push-overablity. Don't be afraid to acknowledge your needs and address them with your partner when necessary.