Building Your Self Esteem
Building your self esteem is easy with these methods. Learn how to value yourself more.
What are the messages you received as a child? Were you told that you were stupid, "just like your old man", would "never amount to anything"?
Many of us did not get the self-esteem-building interactions needed in childhood to have us arrive at adulthood thinking well of ourselves.
Your sense of self-worth may be low, but you can do something about that.
Many people do not even know themselves. Do you know what your favorite color is, what foods you like best, what activity brings you the most peace, what "recharges your batteries"?
In order to build yourself up and increase your sense of self-worth, the first task is to begin to know yourself. Put yourself in some different situations and see how you react. Ask yourself some questions and pay attention to the answers. Experiment on yourself and find out what your likes and dislikes are. Knowing yourself fully is likely to be a lifelong task, but start now and learn as you go.
Make a list of your dreams, the ones you do not have the confidence to tackle. Choose one of them to try to accomplish. Think about how good you will feel about yourself if you meet your goal. There is nothing like accomplishing something you thought you couldn't do to build yourself up. Once you've decided on a goal, break that down into very small tasks. Encourage yourself by remembering that it is okay to "fail", for even then you will be learning. Think of "baby steps" as the way you will work towards your goals. Do not overwhelm yourself, but set small steps and reasonable deadlines. Work towards your goal until you've accomplished it. Then have a big celebration not only of your accomplishment, but of who you are.
Avoid comparing yourself with others. Change the self-talk in your head (you know, that running conversation you have with yourself) and tell yourself that you are okay just as you are. You don't need to be like others. You just need to be the best "you" that you can be. Comparison is deadly and needs to be avoided at all costs.
Get rid of unhealthy people in your life. Instead, surround yourself with people who build you up, who affirm who you are and value you just as you are. If you are in an abusive situation, either learn how to live within it without being abused, or get out. Do not tolerate inappropriate behavior. Raise your standards for what you will and will not tolerate. The key is to treat yourself well and to convey to others an expectation that you will tolerate from them only healthy, affirming behaviors. Do not let others demean you, call you names, belittle you, use sarcasm when conversing with you. Look at your life and if you see yourself as a doormat, tell yourself that you are no longer going to allow yourself to be treated that way, either by others or by yourself.
Stop being a "people-pleaser", that is, living your life so that you will be liked by all. Instead, focus on what pleases you. Tell yourself that you and you alone are responsible for securing peace and happiness for yourself. Do not be afraid of the word "no". Set your boundaries and do not allow people to use you to meet their own agendas. Treat yourself with respect, first, and the respect of others will follow.
In summary, learn who you are; stop comparing yourself to others, but rather learn to value yourself for who you are; do not focus on pleasing others, but please yourself first; surround yourself with people who affirm you and get rid of those who abuse you; and take on a new goal which will raise your sense of competency.
You are worth it and it is up to you to turn your life around. Value yourself as the unique person you are!