Am I In Love?
Information on how to determine if you are in love. The key elements in the process to understand your current relationship or to explore a new relationship.
Falling in love is one of the most intense emotions known to mankind. Falling in love for the first time is a memory that will last for a lifetime no matter what the outcome of that relationship turns out to be.
When we marry most of us are in love. We are seeking forever. Some of us have children to add more special feelings to our relationship. Yet, through the years those first feelings fade. If love is real then they will only fade to the security, comfort, and trust of knowing your partner inside and out and your heart is taken forever. Sometimes this feeling fades with hurt and bitterness. Another thought is that people change. Everyone changes with time. Sometimes this is for the best. They grow together and their relationship reflects this growth with a deeper understanding of each other. Other time people change and grow apart.
Are you love?
Do you seek the company of others to fulfill what is missing in your relationship?
Do you feel you can talk to your partner of your true feelings and be heard and understood?
Do you still miss them when you are gone?
Do you know their emotions and how to deal with them when they arise?
Are you sexually satisfied?
These are just a few of the questions you need to ask yourself.
First you need to search your own heart in honesty and trust your heart to tell you what you feel. Seek beneath the hurt and bitterness and imagine life without your partner and how you would feel. Don't think of what they would feel or how it would effect your external life. Just feel what your heart would feel.
Beware. Sometimes when you feel your heart you see the memories. The wonder of what used to be. Sometimes you seek the feelings you had when you were first in love. These feelings are not realistic in many ways. Time should and will change those feelings. If you find that you are seeking the person that you felt they used to be and ignoring who they are today. Then your relationship is in trouble.
No one can live forever on memories. These feelings in a good relationship should be renewed and create new memories of love daily. If you find you are thinking of yesterday when you think of your partner then it is time to consider where you are at and what you are doing in your life.
Then comes the hardest part: Honesty
Honesty with your partner and yourself.
Can you tell them what is truly in your heart? Even the thoughts that seem bad to you?
Can you tell them what you dislike about them. With kindness and understanding?
Can you clear up things that have happened that created pain within your heart?
Can you truly tell them what you need? And work on a way to obtain the things you need?
Can you look into their eyes and feel the pull of love upon your heart?
If you cannot do these things then you are no longer in love.
Love is open and honest andfree communicating things deep within your heart. Love is sharing secrets and knowing you are safe to do so. Love is not changing the person to suit your needs, but changing yourself to create happiness within them and fulfill your needs in honesty. This is a hard time. You must go past the pain or hurt and truly feel your heart. DO NOT leave the relationship if you are still in love. Do not leave the relationship due to injured pride. You should leave and go on if you are only staying based on memories of what used to be.
Some say I cannot leave because I would hurt them. In reality you are hurting them by staying, if you are not in love. You are sending them on a journey to seek your love that may never be. You are creating a fake world for them to exist in. You are lying daily to them and to yourself. Sometime the truth hurts deeply. Yet never does it do the damage that lies can do to a mind and heart. Find yourself. Be honest with yourself. Then with your partner and see if you are living a lie or living in love and truth.
And if you do chose to leave understand that leaving is like a death. You will grieve. You will remember the good times and tend to forget the bad. You will remember the taste of love. But know that if you stand strong and force yourself to be honest of where the relationship was then you will know that it is once again time to seek the total truth of love.
If you chose to stay and know you are in love but there is things that you need to work on. Then be honest. Share your heart and deal with the issues at hand. It will be hard but in the end it will be worth the effort to feel the awesome sensations of total trust and love again.