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Bombay Sapphire Gin for our martinis and Gibsons, thank you very much. A martini is made with gin, period; a vodka martini is made with vodka. Vermouth must be dry and never sweet; Cinzano is best. Do not ADD vermouth to your gin. Roll a little dry vermouth around in your cocktail shaker before the ice so that it coats the sides of the shaker and then toss the remainder of that vermouth straight out. If you insist on a lemon twist instead of large green olives in your martini, do not place the lemon rind in the glass. Twist it skin side down just above the liquid so that a skim of lemon oil floats on the drink's surface. Throw that lemon peel away. A Gibson, of course, is a martini with a cocktail onion, but that does not mean you may serve it in a rocks glass with ice cubes.

A martini is served in a wide-lipped and long stemmed glass that has been chilled at least one half hour in the freezer alongside the lovely blue bottle of Bombay Sapphire who lives in there. Pour your three ounces of ice-cold gin over broken ice cubes in your vermouth-touched metal cocktail shaker. Then either shake it hard and side-to-side for 15 seconds or stir gently with a glass pipette. Strain the liquid through the ice into your frozen martini glasses. We don't care if you shake it or you stir it, but do hold your martini glass by its stem to keep your hands from warming the liquid. There is simply nothing like a cold martini for icy elegance and sheer invigoration. And nothing tastes more like piss than warmed over gin.

Herman Wouk said it best in describing a properly made martini, it should taste "like it isn't there at all, just a cold cloud."